By Stella Vasileiadou,
Be honest. Do you think that you are good enough to be loved? Do you find yourself comparing to other human beings? And the result is that you are inferior, right? Or maybe you just believe that everyone deserves more than you do. But is this even true?
No doubt having low self-esteem can impact your life quality by making you feel depressed or having to deal with anxiety disorders.
But, what can cause low self-esteem?
- Unsupportive parents/family
Family is the first environment we live in, so the way our parents and/or siblings treat us is has a great impact on the way we feel about ourselves. Unfortunately, not all parents and family members, in general, know how to provide their children with the love, care, and guidance they need and deserve. As a result, children born in such families will mostly feel neglected and that they do not deserve to feel loved.
- Social Circles
Ever heard of ‘’toxic people’’? “Belonging” is undoubtedly a human need. But if we make the wrong choices, this could be ‘’fatal’’ for us. For instance, being a member of a social group that does not even respect you will probably make you think that you are the one to blame for that, and therefore that something is wrong with you. This could even lead you to believe that to be liked by others, you must do exactly what they want and not express your feelings and opinions.
- Stressful life events such as a divorce or the loss of a loved one
- Trauma or abuse
This stands for a person feeling that he/she deserved what she won’t though. Studies have shown that people who have suffered such things have a significant amount of anxiety and depression, which may deprive them of letting themselves free and living their lives the way they desire.
- Poor work/school/academic performance or unrealistic goals
Some people feel like they always have to get straight A’s or take on many activities to prove to others (or maybe to themselves) that they are the best. Also, it is quite common for young people to expect everyone to like them something that is not even possible, because, no matter who you are, you can’t please everyone. The fact that you cannot achieve such unrealistic goals will probably lead to the feeling that you are a failure in general, which is not even true.
What can YOU do about it?
To deal with this, you have to discuss with yourself and find out the root of the problem on your own. For example, imagine the following scenario; what happens when you come across a difficult situation? It could be a crucial presentation at school/work or a sudden change in your life such as divorce. Are you the one to blame? Is there even a grain of truth in your sayings and your beliefs? Such absurdities that do lie on self-sabotage are more common than you think among people.
Therefore, a simple way to avoid this is to think: What would I tell my friend if this happened to her instead of me? The odds are that you would not be such a tough judge to others, so why would you be to yourself?
And last but not least, an important clarification:
Having self-esteem does not imply being a narcissist. Those two are completely different things. Having self-esteem practically stands for having a firm understanding of your skills and capacities and respecting your worth and value.