By Sofia Mavrou,
The worst thing we can do to ourselves is to keep them convenient. “Compromise and do not demand much.” “Do your job and someday you might be paid back.” “Nah, why give it a try? It is futile.” “Do not act much aggressively, this is a game of kings and pawns; you do not want to be the pointed out.” Do not mute these voices, make fun of them. It is extremely exciting.
Stop taking yourself too seriously. Embrace the embarrassment. Make the others remember you. After all, why is it so bad to talk about you? Everybody (and I mean it) has insecurities and the fear of not being accepted. You are not the only one, so why act as so? Indeed, you cannot control either the feelings that you feel or the thoughts that you think about. What you can change is how you react to it. Next time you feel a bit uncomfortable just crack a smile. You do not need to mean it. Just rehearse it till you make it.
Secondly, you should start to focus more on whether you like them and less if they like you. It is good timing to start valuing your blessings. Adele once said, “Count your blessings to find what you look for.” Choose your surroundings soberly. Seek people who make you feel genuinely good for more than 3 hours. For people who trigger your thoughts and respect you. For people who inspire you. We get what we settle for. So stop settling for what you do not want. Of course, some friends are meant to be the ones who just make you laugh for a couple of hours. Some others are the ones who you will grab a drink with them once in a few weeks. Some others are the ones who will keep you company only if they do not have scheduled something else. But for those 2-3 friends with who you interact daily, make sure they check all the boxes; the humorous, the inspiring, the listener, the challenging, the sincere, and the respectful.
There is a relevant theory called the “Shark Growth Theory”. We all are informed about the tremendous size of a shark. Nonetheless, if we place a shark in a fish tank it is unlikely to grow more than 20cm (8 inches). If we freed it in the ocean, it can exceed 2m (8 feet). The shark will never outgrow its environment and the same applies to you, as well. Many times we are enveloped by small-minded people who usually impair our flourishing. Even if they do it subconsciously, you have to sustain your inner world untainted.
Above all, start building sustainable habits through gradual progression. Do not focus on going from 0 to 100. Focus on 0 to 10. Then 10 to 20. Then 20 to 30. And so on and so on until you get to 100. Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want the most. Invest in yourself. Do not check your phone the moment you wake up. Allow 10 minutes to elapse. Drink a glass of water, say good morning to someone in your house, make your bed, and then check Instagram. It sounds like a piece of cake but its implementation is slightly intricate; not difficult. See, the human mind is programmed to choose the painless, effortless path and regard the tough path as an exception. I do not want to be the one who delivers the bad news, but you are brought to this planet so as to live your life offline too, and create a “self” that will offer 0.0001% good to this planet, whatever this means to you.
Motivation is a myth. You do not need the motivation to start doing anything. Other people do not have more willpower than you do. Motivation is what you feel once you finish doing something that gives you confidence and makes you want to do more of it. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Just start now.
All these take a lifetime to be understood and performed. But routines are there for when your mood is not. It might take you twice as long. You might need to push yourself most days. Nonetheless, do not give up nourishing yourself. Make yourself the protagonist of your life. Imagine how you want to present yourself to your grandchildren. Make the most of your life and enjoy it. It’s good for the plot.
Have an eventful 2023!
References
-
“Shark Growth Theory”. linkedin.com. Available here
