By Polina Pallieraki,
Everything happens for a reason. It is an expression that many of us use when we cannot explain something that has happened to us. Something that has usually affected us negatively and we need to find the cause behind our “misfortune”.
The need to find meaning
People have always had the need to explain and understand the situations around them and so they used to deify what they could not explain. The sun, the wind, and the sea have all been worshiped in many cultures because of their significant impact on people’s lives and the need to find meaning.
We like to create stories to explain phenomena, regardless of whether these stories correspond to reality. It is enough to give an explanation.
For example, a tribe of Indians to explain the North Sea phenomenon believed that it was the spirits of dead relatives and friends trying to communicate with their own people down to earth. Today we know that the Northern Lights are the result of the interaction of charged solar particles with the Earth’s atmosphere. At the time, however, it was a satisfactory explanation for this breed.
Back to our lives…
So, somehow, you too can use the phrase “everything happens for a reason” to be able to find meaning in a moment of pain or difficulty. But what is the real reason that some events take place?
The answer to such a general question cannot be given precisely, and you may not be able to explain all the situations that happen to you. After all, many things are not in your hands. At the same time, there may be an explanation that covers most situations. The reason why what happens to you in life happens to you may be one: you.
As long as you continue to be the same person you are, you will continue to be attracted to the same situations. Or even better: as long as you continue to be the same person you are, you will cause the same situations.
For some reason, everything happens in relationships as well
Of course, all of the above also applies in the case of relationships. Especially in the field of relationships, in the field that touches us most of all, the reason that the patterns of our relationships tend to be repeated is the fact that each of us knows a specific way to relate. You feel that you have “chemistry” with some and not with others, but it is something very specific called “chemistry”. You can repeat this pattern of relating until you realize it. If you ever realize that…
The phrase that makes the difference
Some people say: “Life will bring you this until you take the lesson you have to take”. And that is true. Partially. You live in the same situations not because there is an intention in life to teach you something. This repetition is the direct result of your own psyche.
If you throw a glass on the floor, it will break. Not to take a lesson. It will break because you threw it.
You are at the center of your life and not someone who wants to be your teacher. As long as you remain the same, you will inevitably experience the same situations. Because you cause them.
The only way to get your lesson is to look at what is happening to you and why and analyze it. Think about it and reflect on your responsibilities.
What is the most important awareness?
Of course, this is not easy to digest. It is clearly less painful if someone else is responsible for the misfortunes that befall you. Like most people, you too can be very willing to take responsibility for something outside of yourself, as it is very normal to realize that you are at the center of your universe. Realizing that you are causing most situations in your life is an undeniably important moment.
But your responsibility also implies strength. That is, to realize that you have the power to change what is happening to you. That is in your hand. It is enough to want to process your actions and your psyche in order to evolve. It is enough to have the will to know and understand yourself better.
Everything happens for a reason. Everything happens to you for some reason. You are the reason. You can become your own greatest teacher. It is enough for you to allow it.
- Όλα γίνονται για κάποιο λόγο… αλλά για ποιόν;, star.gr, Available here
- “Everything happens for a reason” – and other lies I’ve loved | Kate Bowler, youtube.com, Available for watching here