By Evi Chrysohery,
In an age where scrolling has become second nature, we find ourselves increasingly entangled in a silent competition—one we never consciously entered, yet feel compelled to win. Social media, once a tool for connection and self-expression, has gradually evolved into a stage where curated lives are performed and comparisons thrive. From filtered vacations and sculpted bodies to career milestones and seemingly perfect relationships, the digital world presents a highlight reel that rarely reflects the truth beneath the surface.
Our sense of self is subtly undermined by this culture of perpetual comparison, which also distorts how we see other people. It whispers that we are not enough—that we should be doing more, looking better, and achieving faster. And while these platforms offer moments of inspiration, they also cultivate insecurity, fostering a collective pressure to measure up to a standard that is often both unrealistic and unhealthy.
By its very nature, social media is a performance platform. Each post is a conscious decision—an image chosen, a caption crafted, a moment selected to be seen. We hardly ever share the ordinary or the cluttered, the moments of uncertainty or confusion. Rather, what we see on our feeds is a condensed form of reality—that is aspirational, polished, and bright. Even though we are intellectually aware of this, we still compare our backstage to someone else’s front stage.
It is internalization, not admiration, that poses the risk. We take in other people’s accomplishments as silent judgments on our own shortcomings, rather than merely observing them. “Why am I not there yet?” “What am I doing wrong?”. These inquiries infiltrate silently, almost undetectably, until we find ourselves pursuing validation metrics—likes, shares, followers—as though they determine our value.
An example of this phenomenon is the recurring trends that emerge over time, where individuals feel compelled to align themselves with the majority and adopt whatever is deemed fashionable or desirable at the given moment. A notable case is that of the famous influencer Kylie Jenner who, after having lip fillers while claiming her lips were “natural”, sparked a widespread trend. As a result, countless women began attempting—often in unnatural and dangerous ways—to enlarge their lips in pursuit of the now-iconic “Kylie lips”.
This phenomenon, along with many similar ones—whether related to physical appearance or professional life (such as the current trend where everyone aspires to own a successful business)—breeds insecurity and misleads the public, particularly younger generations. The desire to be accepted is universal, yet this longing should never come at the expense of one’s authenticity.
So, how can we recover our identity in an environment that is meant to skew it? The answer lies in intentional engagement. Taking care to curate our digital environment—unfollowing accounts that make us feel insecure and following those that uplift or support us—can be a radical act of self-care. More significantly, it entails turning our attention inward: establishing our own objectives, acknowledging our own development, and realizing that the richness of life lies not in the filtered but in the entire range of experiences.
Authenticity online doesn’t mean sharing every vulnerability or turning our lives into public diaries. It means resisting the urge to project an image of ourselves that exists only to win acceptance. It means being honest with ourselves about our true values, rather than what merely appears good on the surface.
In a world that constantly urges us to compare, conform, and compete, choosing authenticity becomes an act of quiet rebellion. Although social media will likely always be a part of our lives, we do have some control over how we use it. We have the freedom to reject the filters, challenge the tendencies, and cherish our uniqueness over the ephemeral approval of others. In the end, the most compelling thing we can be is not enviable, but real.
